Journal Entry: Thu Oct 4, 2012, 11:27 PM
( Panda went through all all the screen shots and made a version more like a story. )
Rina and Goroth are sitting together at Goroth's manor in Ildon. They are speaking of sad things, the topic eventually shifts to a death an infant that came out of the womb dead. The mother of this poor child was named Matilda. Rina had many strange type of encounters with this woman, few were very pleasant. Goroth told Rina that it happened around a month ago and that the corpse of the child still remained. Rina was truly shocked by this and mumbled that that explained the smell in the house. Rina retched as Goroth opened a window, mumbling casually to himself.
" You need to do some thing with the corpse... At least bury it!! " Rina exclaimed, then retches at full realization at the stench of the rotten newborn. She stands up and continues, " Show some love for it when the Mother did not! "
She mumbled loudly, " She could not even the compassion to bury her own loved one. " Her anger was quickly starting to build, which was extremely unusual for her, but there was a dead infant upstairs.
While Rina was mumbling, Goroth Turn to Rina, still calmly saying, " I am theoretically prohibited to touch it. "
Rina looked right at him, her eyes starting to fill with tears, " Then I will do it. "
She started to storm up the stairs.
" I shall come... " Goroth said as he still calmly followed her.
As Rina reached the top of the stairs, she carried her nose with her hand, the stench being much worse up here, but she bared it. She saw a small small bundled child, covered completely in blankets. Rina's tears start streaming down her face as she makes her way to gingerly pick the dead child up.
Gorother place his gauntlet over his mouth and shakes his head as he says softly, " Poor creature... "
Rina keeps staring down at the bundled unamed child, " Did not even get a name.. " Her anger starts to build even more as she angrily mumbles " That... Woman... "
Goroth shakes his head once more as he states plainly, " No name.. "
Rina never looked like this before, the mixture of rage and misery on her face was plain for every one to see. Just then, Matilda comes to the door of the manor and raps on it loudly. This causes Goroth to sigh in some kind of contempt as he makes his way down the stairs once more. Rina follows him. He then says coolly " Only one person knocks that way. "
Rina looks at the door, but back down at the month-dead rotten infant with the same expression of misery and rage. Goroth opens the door and greets Matilda with little emotion. " Matilda. "
This catches Rina a bit by surprise, but she quickly recovers, her loathing growing dramatically as the two speak.
" Just let me in. " Matilda says in a bit of a huff, as if she wanted to get some thing over with.
" I suggest one steps out of the way... " Replies gently, knowing full well how strangely upset Rina is behind him.
" Why? " Matilda asks in a snappy way.
Rina meanwhile is just glaringat the door way as she immediately starts to storm out as Goroth opens the door for her. Matilda steps in front of Rina, stopping her. " Oh hello Rina, wait! "
Rina just responds with a hateful glare. Matilda then notices the baby and shrieks before starting to sob immediately. Rina's ears are sensitive, but is too angry right now to cringe at the shriek. Rina tells Matilda bitterly, " You did not care for it, you gave birth to it and it came out dead. You just ran away from it with out any care at all. You left it in Goroth's house to ROT and smell in Goroth's own house. "
Matilda pathetically say between sobs, " It's not - what you - think!" She continues to sob
" Rina continues over her own speech with her words, filled to the brim with bitter rage. " Not even giving it the care to bury it. It is exactly what I think. "
Goroth has a single tear run down his generally cool, calm face from seeing such hate an sadness in one place. Rina continues her hateful speech which is so odd for her. " By the smell of this infant, it smells like you left it for a WHOLE MONTH!!"
Matilda looks to Goroth, speaking in a sobbing, begging voice " Goroth, please - explain why... "
Goroth speaks with a touch of sadness " I only explained that thee were afraid... As one said... " He shakes his head after he is done, not knowing quite what to judge.
Rina snaps right to it " Afraid of giving it love? "
Matilda says with a bit less of the crocodile tears, " Rina, I'm a coward in the death of others... " She starts to stop crying and wipes away the tears.
" Uncaring enough to drop that fear for your own CHILD?! Trying to play yourself like YOU are the victim?! " She now speaks incredulously, starting to claw back her intense emotions before she punches Matilda right in her jaw.
Matilda shouts out, " Rina! It's so much pressure on me, and I've been well... " She pauses to think and Rina mutters " The vileness that is seeping from you right now.. "
Matilda speaks again when she finds the words that sound the best " ...Going through weird, depression phases " Rina only can stop herself from rolling her eyes, having a firmer grasp on herself at this point. She still clutched the unnamed child every one kept calling an it, but Rina did not find this right.
Matilda continues with her excuses, " I didn't have the strength to go back and get it! "
Looks back up to her, and glares right into her eyes, " It is not about you... All I hear from you right now is- " She cuts of to adjusts her voice, and imitates Matilda near-perfectly but with much more of a whine, " I am the victim... I did nothing wrong, PITY MEEEEEE!! "
Goroth's eyes are very watery at this point.
" Shut up. "
" The loathing that I have for you right now has not been expressed- "
" Shut up! "
" For so very long- "
" SHUT UP! "
" Except for the time when my best friend has KILLED HER CHILD... BEFORE IT HAD A CHANCE TO EVEN BE BORN!! "
Matilda's rage had grown to the point where she started to charge at Rina, proclaiming " I'm gonna kill you!! "
Rina simply stands there, glaring full at her with the rotted new born corpse in her hands.
Goroth notices a threat for danger, and rushes to intervene, but he was too late. Matilda had already stopped. Matilda gets very close to Rina before she stops herself, not having the courage to continue. Rina knew full well a person like her would never have the guts to attack. Matilda says harshly " You're horrible... "
Rina looks dead in her eyes, not so much glaring and speaking harshly, but with a tone of slight calm. She still has tears of rage and misery running down her face. " You are more than just a coward... You are one who is one of the most wretched people I have even seen.. "
Matilda's face suddenly turns very red and glares at her. Rina calmly unwraps the rotten infant and shows her the baby's face, not looking herself.
This causes Matilda to cry out in anger, not even looking at the face but at Rina. " Just give me my baby!! "
Goroth finally takes the hand he was using to separate the two away finally, seemingly starting to tear up after witnessing the child's face. " Not even the kindness to bury it " Rina says with a cool loathing. " You do not deserve to bury it. " She calmly wraps the infant back up. " You vile... Wretched whore. "
" Give me it! " She rushes forward to Rina, shreiking in rage as she tries to yank the infant from Rina's grasp. Rina successfully jumps out of the way of Matilda, as she was just blindly charging at her with rage. She clutches the infant close to her, careful it does not take any damage. Matilda keep charging at her, and eventually gets close enough to Rina to grab the baby. Rina interjects her charging body with a hard kick to the gut, which causes her to fall back into the dirt.
Matilda slowly gets up and suddenly lunges at Rina. Rina jumps out of the way once more, as Matilda is making not attempt to hide her attacks. Rina hopes she lands in the dirt, and she does. Matilda scrapes hard against the ground.
Goroth speaks up, with various tears falling from his eyes. He speaks, heart broken " Please... Stop this.. "
Rina's expression fades slowly to that of sadness rather than hate. Matilda snaps once more, glaring still at Rina. " Now if you don't give me my baby right now! - "
Rina interjects Matilda's threats, saying sadly, " Can we not just bury this poor creature who has not had any love? "
" It isn't even named... " Goroth says sadly, shaking his head.
" I'll bury it MYSELF! " She says harshly, almost growling.
" It seems like you think it is a toy that you only want now because some one else is holding it. " Rina says coolly.
" You didn't give birth to it! " She crosses her arms.
" This is your child, and you ran away from it- "
" Right after it was born! "
" And I am showing more love to it now, than you have ever given it. " The two both keep their same tones.
" I was in tons of stress! Rina, how about you give birth to a dead body! " This stabs Rina deeply, shocking her and keeps her from saying any thing. " How about YOU do it! To see that you can't even give birth! "
Rina lowers her head, speaking much more quietly and sadly. " It would hurt me with the greatest shame.. - she looks up again - But I would not run from it... "
" Rina, you don't know how much embarrassment I've undergone in my life.. "
Rina continues, like Matilda does not exist any more speaking even more sadly, and cradling the dead infant. " I would wrap it up... And hold it for ... Many hours... Days... "
" But what good would that do? "
Rina starts shaking slightly, breaking again. " Before I would... Bury it... And leave a ... Tombstone... " Rina breaks full and sobs even more than she was previously, more with sadness. " You did not even show it that kindness!! You dropped it ... And ran away!!! "
Matilda speaks more quietly, almost talking sheepishly, like a boy who had forgotten to do his homework on time " I was going to do that...! After... I... I got over it!.. I never even handled it!! "
Rina snaps her head up to Matilda, " After you got over it?! "
Matilda sounds much more annoyed than angry now " I couldn't come back for it! I had to get over it first. Rina! This baby was just another simple fault I had! "
Rina's eyes go blank for a moment, before she yells at Matilda " How could you forget your own birth? Your own child? It SHOULD not be a simple fault! There is NO getting over it! "
" Well I try to get over it, you know why! ... Because! " She pauses to think of why, and Rina interjects.
" That is just what Chihiro said! Just a mistake! A child is NOT A MISTAKE!! " Tries so hard to get a grasp on her anger again.
" Oh shut up! I've had many bad things in my life like... " She pauses to think again " Like being a blind whore! "
Rina's tears never stop flowing, eyes piercing red and puffy at this point. " And then having to eat a MOUNTAIN! "
" And you made me EAT it! "
" You chose to, with out any guidance.. Though I am still sorry for that.. " Rina glances down sadly.
" Then why didn't you ever apologize to me!? "
" This was before you even realized you were pregnant, it had to be. I did apologize, you are too selfish to hear it. I was down bowing to your feet, telling you how I was sorry. "
Matilda crosses her arms, " Hmph, fine, I accept your apology. " She is obviously starting to gain calmness.
Rina speaks dully now " That was only a silly mishap... You believed the mountain to be CHOCOLATE. "
Goroth pipes in " She was blinded by her own pride "
Matilda turns to Goroth, " STOP WITH THE PUNS! " She yells out angrily again. " How dare you make fun of the fact I was once blind! "
Rina had said all she needed to at this point, and slowly walks away. She knows that Matilda could tell she was, though she made no effort to peruse her. She could hear still as she walked away.
" I am not making fun of it... "
" Then what are you doing? "
Rina head out of Ildon and starts a long journey to find a proper resting place for the child. After a short while of walking, horse flies start to swarm and bite her because of the stench emitting from the rotting child. After about four hours of hiking and being bitten, she comes across a mountain with a tree on the top. She smiles gently and she tells the bundle in her arms. " That would be a good place for you to rest, Nibblet... You could watch the whole world from up there..! "
Rina forces some enthusiasm in her voice, for the sake of the child. Nibblet is what she calls all the children she meets. She has not stopped crying, but it is more gentle now than before. She slowly starts to climb the mountain, attaching the bundle to her pack. Rina keeps slipping and falling from the mountain, and cannot climb up it no matter how hard she tries to. After a particularly hard fall, which she has to turn over to protect the child from getting hurt, she shakily, painfully stands up again. Rina keeps a gentle smile on her face, despite the pain. " I tried, Nibblet, but there will be a better place, do not worry! " She says in obvious pain, but still with a cheerful enthusiasm and determination.
She painfully continues on, trying to ignore the pain, and it gets a little better as she moves on. Eventually she is met with a river. Rina looks around for a bridge of some kind, or another way around but she finds none. She cringes and reluctantly enters the river. Rina hates water and is a terrible swimmer. She does her best to hold the baby over the water as she kicks violently, slowly and eventually reaching the shore. Rina is forced to take a break at this point, as the swim was so exhausting. After about an hour she gets up again, and set out to find the proper burial sight.
Rina notices a brown sheep wandering around, and aches to kill the evil fluffy bastard. She cannot kill it right now as much as she would like to. Rina walks on again and finds a new mountain just as the sun begins to set. Rina likes the look of the mountain and proclaims excitedly " How about up there, Nibblet? That seems like a nice spot! " She starts climbing up the new mountain, it being much easier to climb luckily. She reaches as high as she can go, and sets the infant and her traveling pack down. Rina takes a chance to rest, taking out some dried beef jerky . Rina eats it ravenously, not caring where her hands have been. Rina looks over to the bundle with a gentle smile on her face " S-see Nibblet? It is the perfect spot for us to rest! "
Rina searches her pack for some thing to assist digging. The best she can find is her hatchet, but that is okay, she will just need to work harder! She takes a deep breath and starts the difficult task of making a child-sized grave. Rina is truly exhausted enough as it is, but is stubborn and determined enough to keep going. After a few hours into the night, she is forced to take a break. Her arms are extremely sore and her hands have blisters. Rina just stares up and the moon and thinks for a bit, before being able to work again.
Soon after her break, her old hatchet finally breaks, forcing her to dig with her hands. She feels a pit of relief for her blistered hands in the cool soil, but the feeling does not last long. The grueling task is finished around midnight, almost all of her strength completely depleted. Rina takes out one of her own, spare wool blankets and wraps it around the already wrapped-up child. She sets the bundle in the fresh, more than shallow grave. Rina can only manage to set the dirt in the grave before she passes out. Rina Kameki sleeps so deeply, that even she appears dead at first glance.
She awakes in the early morning, feeling sore all over, mostly in the arms. She looks down at her hands and grimaces at all the blisters on her hands, some of them popped with dirt in them. Her nails are encrusted with dirt and blood. She sighs and looks back over to the grave, still having one last thing to do. She stands up and slowly makes her way down the mountain to find a slab of slate to use as a tombstone. She calls back to the grave " I will be right back, Nibblet! "
Rina searches around a nearby cave until she luckily finds an okay-sized slab. Taking a deep breath, she heaves the slab, it being heavier than it looks. With a couple steps, her arms are already in agony, but she presses on still. When she makes it to the mountain, she is crying with agony. She is forced to wait an hour before she can even think about continuing. Rina huffs and says " For you, Nibblet... You... Deserve this. "
She picks up the slab once more, and slowly starts to climb the mountain, grinding her teeth and trying to think about nothing but making a good enough grave for the child. Rina eventually makes it up the mountain. She sets the stone slab behind the grave, hammering it down in by kicking and stomping it in. After it is set in place, Rina reaches into her pack, pulling out a dried redrose and a cylinder of charcoal. Rina delicately places the flower on the Child's grave. Rina uses the charcoal to write on the tombstone, knowing perfectly well it will wash off in a couple rains. Rina writes " R.I.P. Unamed. Death took you before life. " Rina's hands were so shaky and painful the writing looked sloppy. Rina sat there and stayed for a while, staring at the grave and thinking deeply.
Eventually she got up, and started to leave the grave along with the child. She would never forget this event, no matter how hard she could try to forget. She went down and found that Brown sheep, and broke it's neck, be fore continuing on to find a place to rest for a long while and reflect.